Download Ebook The First Born Advantage
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The First Born Advantage
Download Ebook The First Born Advantage
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Best-selling author, humorist, and internationally known psychologist Dr. Kevin Leman helps firstborns understand their natural advantages for the highest level of personal success at home, at school, at work, and in relationships.
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Audible Audiobook
Listening Length: 4 hours and 55 minutes
Program Type: Audiobook
Version: Abridged
Publisher: Baker Publishing Group
Audible.com Release Date: April 16, 2010
Language: English
ASIN: B003HMX7I0
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
Born to Win: Keeping Your Firstborn Edge without Losing Your Balance by Dr. Kevin Leman (author of The Birth Order Book: Why You Are the Way You Are), originally released under the title The Firstborn Advantage: Making Your Birth Order Work for You is a brilliant book about the pros and cons of being a firstborn.I am pretty much the stereotypical firstborn - for good and for bad:Firstborns need permission to be able to relax. We struggle commonly with time management, stress management, and prioritizing because we tend to take on a lot . . . in fact, too much.Firstborns and Only ChildrenReliable and conscientious, they tend to be list makers and black-and-white thinkers. They have a keen sense of right and wrong and believe there is a "right way" to do things. They are natural leaders and achievement oriented.Believe it or not, people who have sloppy desks are sometimes more concerned with being perfect than people who appear on the surface to be neat and organized. The person who has the sloppy desk may be what I refer to as a "discouraged perfectionist." He wants everything in his life to be perfect, and because he knows it never can be, he tends to leave things half done or not done at all. In other words, he's afraid to attempt things that he knows he can't do perfectly.Firstborns are always ready to pitch in and help because they've been groomed to do so. They have a high sense of what's right and what's wrong. There's not a lot of gray in the black and white of a firstborn's world.Firstborns don't like surprises. They like things to be orderly and organized.If you're a pleaser, your motto in life is peace at any price. You bite off far more than you can chew. You're the type of person who would do anything for others while leaving nothing for yourself. You hold yourself responsible for other people's failures and negligence. Your goal in life is to make sure everyone is happy, because then, you reason, you count in life. So you run yourself ragged while trying to do favors for everyone else. Because you bail folks out of messes, people like you. You're a nice person. You can always be counted on, and people seem to know your soft spots. You spend every day running on a tankful of guilt. You're driven by that guilt because you know you can never do enough. You just can't seem to say no.Many parents tend to view their firstborn children as older than they really are. They expect them to grow up too fast.Firstborns are goal setters; they are well organized; they are the sort of people who know where they're going, how they'll get there, and how long it's going to take to get there.Dr. Leman's book will teach you how to make the most of your special abilities as a firstborn, while helping you cope with the things we are more prone to struggle with, such as perfectionism, saying no etc.
This is a very insightful read. Dr. Kevin Leman describes the reasons why first borns often suffer from the insurmountable pressure of being born first. He gives the reason for their tenacity, excellence, dominant characteristics, successes and failures, etc. This volume is a great read for not only those who are first borns, but also for people who are interested in learning more about their first born friend, parent, boss, co-worker, relative, spouse, etc.Dr. Leman not only shows the reasons behind first born temperaments, but he also gives practical insight on how to properly manage the pressure and responsiblity first borns face. This is a must read for first borns or people married to a first born. It is also a great read for those involved in counseling or psychology. I highly recommend it.
This audio cd is right on target. Dr. Leman, as usual, does an excellent job in pinpointing the myriad advantages of being the first born in the family. It is true that first borns which include us onlies are more mature, conscientious, and goal oriented than later born children.Dr. Leman is an excellent theorist and practician regarding birth order typology. However, I learned something new about the psychology of the first born-there are people with first born and/or only child characteristics although they were not technically the first borns in their respective families.I am an only and my mother is a first born. My mother was a typical first born-she loved being in charge and believed that she was always right. As a first born, she was often in conflict with superior staff because she believed that she knew more than they did. Even though we are close, we often clashed because of our strong personalities. I, too, believe that I am right and always gloat about it. I am also fiercely ambitious and believe in achieving the highest and if not, I would be miserable. The Firstborn Advantage is an excellent read and/or a good listen. It can be purchased in either book or cd form. Please purchase this enlightening treatise on the first born experience.
As I read through this book I kept thinking "Who is this man and how does he know me so well?"!If you are a firstborn you will find this book very enlightening. Dr. Leman has made birth order an area of research and study and he proves to be most knowledgeable on the subject. Although he refers to other birth orders in this book it is primarily focused on firstborns and their relationships with other birth orders and the world.Parents who read this book (preferably early in your parenting experience) will find it helpful as you relate to your firstborn and subsequent children. In addition to seeing myself with a new understanding I also found it enlightening in my understanding of my own (now adult) firstborn child.Dr. Leman has written an interesting book that does not bog down, it will keep you turning the pages as he explores how the firstborn child can develop their "edge" in school, work and home situations.
While Dr. Leman is persuasive, he wasn't persuasive enough. I know plenty of firstborns with all the personality traits of what he calls the firstborn that were late talkers, late walkers, late __. I'm not sure I buy that every single first born walks by 12 months, talks like a 4 year old at age 2, and is an overachiever in every area. I think Dr. Leman stereotypes "firstborns" (whether by birth order or his way of looking at first born) in a way that is unfair to a true firstborn that just may be a late developer. I think it's helpful to read the book for a broader scope of knowledge, but I would remain skeptical of jumping in hook, line, and sinker.
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